Faddy\’s Private Musings.

I found out today that a friend of mine has, since 4 years ago, converted into Christianity from being a Muslim. As expected, his (or her) family knows nothing about the whole issue la, and apparently he keeps it under wraps. I asked him why he converted, and some of his reasons were:

• The violence in Islam, or rather, the violence that Muslims seem to potray.

Apparently according to him, he couldn't understand why there was so much violence in Islam. Yes, he says he knows about the whole issue that Islam in itself is not a violent religion, but the extremist Muslims were the ones who induce that violence. However, he highlighted the fact that these extremists quote from the Quran and therefore, in a way (however small that way is), there must be something in the religion which sparked off the violent nature in these people.

• The lack of sincerity he felt when he was taught in religious schools.

He adds on, that since he was young, his parents packed him off to study in religious (Muslim) institutions to study during weekends, a norm for Muslim kids la. He elaborated that throughout the education process, he felt that the religious teachers were not "sincere", so to speak, in their teachings. For example, they would enter classes late and deliver their knowledge in a slipshod manner. Furthermore, for reasons unknown to man, kids who go for weekend institutions are usually the Mats and Minahs, going only for the sake of going, therefore hampering the whole teaching-learning process.

• Islam puts women at second place, below men.

He highlights the muslim countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, where women are subjected to laws which leave them with very little rights. Examples would be the countless honour killings (murdering of women suspected by her family members of having relations with men outside of the family) which are sort of "condoned" by the government.

• Christianity seems to be a more "peaceful" and loving religion.

He felt that he "connected" with the preachings, with the people in his Church and that it seems to be a more tender religion. Islam, according to him, is kinda scary, with its focus on "Oh dont go against God, you'll go to hell" approach while Christianity seems to focus on "Jesus loves you", which is a more warm approach.

These were just a few of the reasons which he told me just now uh. I can't seem to place the rest, so please forgive me. As a Muslim, i'm bound to be prejudiced and biased in listening to his viewpoints but however, i didn't go all "EH YOU MUNAFIK!" on him, cuz if i did that, then that would mean i'd have lost a couple of friends already.

Yeah, its true. Many Muslim teenagers have been converting into Christianity whether we like it or not, and to those that i personally know their reasons were singing along the same tune of this guy (or girl) who just opened up to me.

As for myself, i still am a Muslim and i want to die one (insyaallah). I believe in the one and only Allah, and i pray that i will stick to this path till the end of time (and even in the afterlife).

But if there's a couple of things that i would agree with him about, it is the way Islam is taught, be it through a child's upbringing, or even in institutions.

I somehow grew up being taught to fear God. I would pray, doa, read the Quran etcetra all because i feared God and i didn't want to visit hellfire. The more i grew up, i realise that fear, in the end, can be gotten rid off. And so for a while, i lived without the existance of God.

Then when i got older and more mature, it suddenly struck me that i should look at God in another way, i would love Him instead of fearing Him. Because love lasts and fear doesn't. And in the end, if you love someone, you would do all to gain His love therefore naturally, prayers etc will be done.

This is how Islam should be taught, in my opinion. Parents should stop saying "Go Pray! If not you'll sin and feel the wrath of hellfire!" and instead, embed the seed of love for God in the child, so that the child will naturally want to seek God's love by performing his prayers etc.

As for the Institution bit (Madrasahs), i just dont get why some religious teachers dont make an effort in really teaching Islam. Throughout my religious education at this Madrasah XX, the teachers often come in late and teach with monotonous tones. When the Mats and Minahs made alot of noise or something, he would just ignore them and this whole cycle makes it uninteresting for me to go to Madrasahs, as i felt that they were useless.

Afterall, almost everything they teach, i've already been educated about by my parents. Perhaps then, the religious teachers should go for a course or something and revamp their way in spreading the teachings of Islam. They should make it a more interactive nature, with discussions and whatnot, and show LIFE when they're teaching. This way, kids will listen, and hopefully, understand Islam, love the religion and thus, love God.

And i guess if parents AND teachers educate a child this way, we'll have less people having warped ideas of Islam and we'll all be a peace loving bunch, wont we?

Basically that's what i was thinking about the entire day uh. Been wanting to get it off my chest for sometime.. This has been some long (not to mention directionless) rambling, and if you're still reading up till this point, i apologise for taking your time

Anyway, just curious, what are your views on Muslims converting into other religions?

I spent last night doing my nightly routine of sitting on the windowsill, just looking out into the night. I was looking through my memory box, and i realised i did not manage to throw everything about us away – there were some that were still in there, waiting to be reminisced.

I miss everything we had and more importantly, i miss him. And this seems to ring true in every aspect.. (except for the last bit)

Where have i gone wrong that it is so hard for me to get over the past? It's very frustrating, to say the least. I don't understand why i cry and still hope that he'll come back, when i know he doesnt even harbour feelings for me anymore and YET i still do it.

Nanananana does anyone have tips on how to get over shit fast? I need to concentrate on my studies niaaaaa.

And i just hate it when my brain tells me that we could be fine being just friends, but my heart still shouts that i still have feeling for him and THUS i shouldnt befriend him cuz it hurts abit.. Somehow..

Will you call and chat with me? I miss you.